Crazy thought! If scientists, no, if male scientists, could develop a drug that could temporarily mimic the effects of menopause, I believe late stage divorces would plummet! Imagine, when taken, engaged couples would experience a dry run of sorts…a marriage “test drive” to determine how much abuse could be withstood…how many negative marital G forces a person could take. I suppose the drug would “implant” memories in the woman, simulating years of a man’s broken promises and less than appropriate behavior, allowing the flood gates to open revealing her pent up resentment, anger and frustration. What would normally take 25 years, could now be accomplished in a mere 4 to 6 hours.
This pharmaceutical crystal ball could allow all parties to alter behavior along the way to create a better relationship bond. It would also allow partners to decide if this bond would at all be worth it…here comes my Shark Tank pitch…
“hey sharks! Divorces…marital strife…loveless relationships…let’s just call it what it is, midlife/menopause fatigue!
Could this short life benefit from an insurance policy of sorts, where married couples could sidestep the pain of accumulated tension and hostility?…you betcha!! Well, I’m here asking for 23 million dollars in return for a 15 percent stake in this life changing little Paisley Pill! We call it the Paisley Pill, but you’ll call it marital bliss! That’s right Sharks, the Paisley Pill will change the marriage dynamic that has existed for centuries! So who wants to stop divorce in it’s tracks, and live a happy Paisley life?”…

I’m back in the wonderfully profitable world of pharmaceuticals! We discussed the power of the “Paisley Pill”, taken by women to help understand this late stage inner conflict. Well, we’re currently in development for it’s counterpart, the “Plaid Pill”!
This medication plays with the gender stereotype of the menopausal woman.
This pill…wait for it …taken by men, allows for them to feel the gut wrenching, upside down world of a chemical imbalance, to understand the “not understanding” of what’s happening to them!! And in a stunning reversal, it allows men to now stockpile disagreeable women moments from years gone by, to dole out their own measure of silence and dismissive behavior on a loving partner.
Also, an added benefit from the super adorable Plaid Pill, is that women can now see and feel the other side of the coin…bewilderment from another angle. The mysterious feeling of…”What?”
Basically our Paisley and Plaid pills take much of the guesswork out of what to expect from the middle age spouse! Can’t decide if marriage is right for you?…well you can now!

Silly me, we live in the digital age, so let’s pass on the pharmaceuticals…VR, is the future! Strap on that headset and prepare for launch!
First input some basic information…age…length of marriage…occupation…salary…and of course, credit card info.
Once completed, it’s time to create Her….download a picture of your spouse, or prospective spouse. Next you digitally age her for an accurate VR experience. Remember, Menapouse can take hold as early as the thirties, so adjust the slider accordingly.
Be sure to monitor the volume depending whether she is a “silent treater” or “blamer”.
Once the headset is fitted and all info is inputed, press start and be transported to your future situation and her future self. It’s so real that you can feel the shame/pain as she tells it “like it is”. Experience the feeling – being that couple at the diner not speaking over their turkey club. She may stay uncomfortably silent, or launch into a torrent of responses meant to demean…or some combination of both…but a wonderful thing about the VR experience though, is that when you’ve had enough you just take the headset off.